What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Indianapolis
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Higher Education
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15, Mostly women with a few experiences with men.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
First Experience With A Friend
How long ago did this hookup happen? almost 5 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a co-worker of mine who started working with the company about a year after I did. She was a cute chocolate thing. I peeped her from the first time she stepped into work. We started hanging out together and became friends. I thought of having sex with her before but never thought the opportunity would present itself since both of us were in a relationship. There were little signs there, being a little more touchy-feely than a friend would normally be, but I chalked it up to be a cultural thing (I’ve had other friends from the same place as her, and they did similar things). Looking back, she was a little more comfortable than others I knew, especially when it comes to touching on me.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We both had a long day, so we decided to go smoke. We were talking and enjoying the weed that she generously provided. Once we finished, we moved to another location that was a little less obvious. While at that location, we both confessed we were attracted to each other and wanted to have sex. We did not do anything that night, but there was a lot of flirting and sexual conversations leading up to the actual encounter.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I got to her place, had a bottle of tequila between us, and she was like, “Let’s go,” so we went back to her bedroom. There was a lot of kissing and touching going on. She took off everything except her bra, and I was totally naked. I went down on her, and I LOVED eating her pussy. I had not done it in a while, so I was looking forward to doing it. I brought her to two orgasms before I went in and penetrated her. Her pussy was so wet, warm, and tight. It took some control to not cum in her within a few minutes. Looking in her eyes while fucking her pussy deep was so sensual and so much of a turn-on. Eventually, she gave me some head, and it was the best head that I’ve had probably ever. She was so attentive and focused. She was definitely enjoying herself, and I was enjoying getting it from her. Between the tequila we were both drinking and the Cialis I took earlier, we went for 5-6 rounds. I came 3 times (pulled out every time), she came…well more than three times. We had to work the next day, so I got dressed and went back to my apartment. The whole night lasted about 4 hours.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We still remain friends. Since the original encounter, we’ve had sex 2 more times, with our last one being the most intense and fun (I’ll tell this story later). She felt bad for cheating, so she limits how often we have sex with each other. I also do not feel great about cheating on my partner. We eventually figured out that we were not getting our physical needs met with our partners, so we were using each other to meet that need. We’ve gotten closer since we started having sex. I could see a world where if we both were single, we would get into a relationship.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, Power / Dominance
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. Actually, besides the two of us, only one other person knows and that’s her female best friend.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We had so much fun. We were both very into it and we enjoyed pleasuring each other.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Just the fact we both cheated on our partners. If the found out, they would be really hurt.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Besides in my much younger days, I never cheated on someone I was dating. I also did not understand why someone would cheat on a great partner. This has given me some perspective on how easily it could happen. It made me think more about open/non-monogamous relationships.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe it is up to individuals on how they want to engage in sex, but people should be more open to casual sex. I don’t believe monogamy is natural, and I think if more people actually embraced that fact, I think cheating and everything that comes with it would happen significantly less.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I’m glad I found this website. It is interesting to read others experiences.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!